What Not to Say

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <div> <A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/ux/id112.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/ux/id112.htm"><U><I><B><IMG SRC="fec23230.jpg" border=0 width="35" height="35" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></I></U></A><FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#99CCFF" FACE="Arial" ><A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/ux/id112.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/ux/id112.htm"><U><I><B>Quick Jump to Erotic Tales <IMG SRC="114537510.jpg" border=0 width="55" height="81" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></I></U></A></FONT><FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#FFCC99" FACE="Book Antiqua" ><I>Tales of decadence, debauchery, lust, passion, desire, seduction, etc. etc. etc. I think you get the idea. - Mild to Wild . . . . </I></FONT></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>==============</B></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/"><U><I> Spanish .</I></U></A><FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#FF6633" FACE="Arial" ><A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/"><U> Pages <IMG SRC="112f1e140.jpg" border=0 width="30" height="20" ALT="Spain" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></FONT></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/"><U>Páginas en Español</U></A><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#FF6633" FACE="Arial" ><A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/"><U> </U></A></FONT></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/"><U><I>cuentos eróticos</I></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/"><U><I>And many thanks to Iruntxu for her translations to Spanish. </I></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/"><U><I>She just needs to learn to keep her fingers on the keyboard,</I></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <B>==============</B></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id42.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Gourmet Erotic Deviant"><U>Gourmet Erotic Deviant</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id28.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cyrano"><U>Cyrano</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id29.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cyrano Contents"><U>Cyrano Contents</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id30.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="In the Beginning"><U>In the Beginning</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id31.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Increase the Momentum"><U>Increase the Momentum</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id32.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Warmer Sentiments"><U>Warmer Sentiments</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id33.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Warmer Words"><U>Warmer Words</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id34.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Open the 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TARGET="_top" TITLE="Directory"><U><IMG SRC="e1d65670.jpg" border=0 width="101" height="103" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id18_top1.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Directory"><U><I>Back to Top </I></U></A><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Book Antiqua" ><A HREF="id18_top1.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Directory"><U><I> </I></U></A></FONT><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#66FFFF" FACE="Book Antiqua" ><A HREF="id18_top1.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Directory"><U><I><B>^</B></I></U></A></FONT></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <div> <B>LeKnight at Bluewater</B><B> </B><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#FFCC99" FACE="Arial" >    </FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#CCCC66" FACE="Arial" >|   <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="LeKnight at Bluewater"><U><B>home</B></U></A></FONT></div> <div> <B>What Not to Say</B><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id230.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Color"><U>Color</U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id238.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Study Learn"><U>Study - Learn</U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id239.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="For Thought"><U>For Thought</U></A></div> <div> <IMG SRC="042f4010.png" border=0 width="500" height="1" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> What Not to Say</div> <div> <A HREF="id18.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Directory"><U><B>back to Directory <<</B></U></A><B>                     </B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> Things NOT to say during Sex</div> <bR> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">But everybody looks funny naked!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">You woke me up for that?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Did I mention the video camera?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Do you smell something burning?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">(in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead…</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Try breathing through your nose.</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">A little rug burn never hurt anyone!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">But whipped cream makes me break out.</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Person A: This is your first ... right?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Person B: Yeah…today</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">(In the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Can you please pass me the remote control/</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Do you accept Visa?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">ZZZ---</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">On second thought, let's turn off the lights.</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Hope you're as a good looking when I'm sober…</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">(Holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Do you get any premium movie channels?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">But I just brushed my teeth… </B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Why am I doing all the work?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Did you know the ceiling needs painting?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">I think you have it on backwards.</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">When is this supposed to feel good?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">You're good enough to do this for living!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Is that blood on the headboard?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Did you tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">If you quit smoking you might have more endurance…</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">No, really… I do this part better myself!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">It's nice being in bed with woman I don't have to inflate!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">You're almost as good as my ex!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">You look younger than you feel.</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Perhaps you're just out of practice.</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">You sweat more than a galloping stallion!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Now I know why he/she dumped you… </B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">What tampon?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">What are you planning to make for breakfast?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">I have a confession…</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Are those real or am I just behind the times?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">You'll still vote for me, won't you?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">I really hate women who actually think sex means something!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Did you come yet, dear?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">I'll tell you who I'm fantasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about…</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Does this count as a date?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Hic! I need another beer for this please.</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">I think biting is romantic- don't you?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Q: You can cook, right?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">A: (Whaddaya think I'm doin'?)</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">When would you like to meet my parents?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like…</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Sorry about the nametags, I'm not very good with names.</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">(in a phone booth) Do you mind if make a few phone calls?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Sorry but I don't do toes!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Keep it down , my mother is a light sleeper…</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">So that's why they call you MR. Flash!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Is this a sin too?</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Long kisses clog my sinuses…</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise…</B></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c002a00f08099cc00.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">How long do you plan to be "almost there"?</B></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>