A Bit of Humor

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <div> <A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/ux/id112.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/ux/id112.htm"><U><I><B><IMG SRC="fec23230.jpg" border=0 width="35" height="35" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></I></U></A><FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#99CCFF" FACE="Arial" ><A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/ux/id112.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/ux/id112.htm"><U><I><B>Quick Jump to Erotic Tales <IMG SRC="114537510.jpg" border=0 width="55" height="81" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></I></U></A></FONT><FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#FFCC99" FACE="Book Antiqua" ><I>Tales of decadence, debauchery, lust, passion, desire, seduction, etc. etc. etc. I think you get the idea. - Mild to Wild . . . . </I></FONT></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>==============</B></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/"><U><I> Spanish .</I></U></A><FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#FF6633" FACE="Arial" ><A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/"><U> Pages <IMG SRC="112f1e140.jpg" border=0 width="30" height="20" ALT="Spain" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></FONT></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/"><U>Páginas en Español</U></A><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#FF6633" FACE="Arial" ><A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/"><U> </U></A></FONT></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/"><U><I>cuentos eróticos</I></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/"><U><I>And many thanks to Iruntxu for her translations to Spanish. </I></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/spa/"><U><I>She just needs to learn to keep her fingers on the keyboard,</I></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <B>==============</B></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id42.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Gourmet Erotic Deviant"><U>Gourmet Erotic Deviant</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id28.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cyrano"><U>Cyrano</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id29.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cyrano Contents"><U>Cyrano Contents</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id30.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="In the Beginning"><U>In the Beginning</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id31.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Increase the Momentum"><U>Increase the Momentum</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id32.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Warmer Sentiments"><U>Warmer Sentiments</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id33.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Warmer Words"><U>Warmer Words</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id34.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Open the 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Fingering</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id262.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Only for Men"><U>Only for Men</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id1342.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Female Brain"><U>Female Brain</U></A></div> <bR> <div> sssssssssss</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id229.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="What Not to Say"><U>What Not to Say</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id230.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Color"><U>Color</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id238.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Study Learn"><U>Study - Learn</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id239.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="For Thought"><U>For Thought</U></A></div> <bR> <div> sssssssssss</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id228.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Festivities"><U>Festivities</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id233.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Decor"><U>Decor</U></A></div> <bR> <div> sssssssssss</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id235.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="the Pleasure of Your Orgasm"><U>the Pleasure of Your Orgasm</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id236.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Wanting to Reality"><U>Wanting to Reality</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id237.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Tastes of Us"><U>The Tastes of Us</U></A></div> <bR> <div> sssssssssss</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id84.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Kali"><U>Kali</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id55.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Adventure"><U>Adventure</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id56.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Passion and More"><U>Passion and More</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id60.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="More on Touching"><U>More on Touching</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id62.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="intimacy inoculation"><U>Intimacy Inoculation</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id63.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Passion"><U>Passion</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id59.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Her Knight"><U>Her Knight</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id61.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Her Lover"><U>Her Lover</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id1021.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Creative Lover"><U>Creative 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ladies</I></FONT></div> <div> <A HREF="id283.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cataloged Pussy"><U>Cataloged Pussy</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id284.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Beaver Beating"><U>Beaver Beating</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id285.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Penis Parade"><U>Penis Parade</U></A></div> <bR> <div> sssssssssss</div> <bR> <div>  <A NAME="ux"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#CCFFFF" FACE="Book Antiqua" ><A HREF="id1296.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Decadent Tales"><U><I><B><IMG SRC="f27243c0.jpg" border=0 width="36" height="60" ALIGN="LEFT" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></I></U></A></FONT></div> <div> <A HREF="id1296.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Decadent Tales"><U><I><B>    UX - Soyd   </B></I></U></A></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <I>Tales of decadence, debauchery,</I></div> <div> <I>lust, passion, desire, seduction,</I></div> <div> <I>etc. etc. etc. I think you get the</I></div> <div> <I>idea. - Mild to Wild . . . . . . . .</I></div> <bR> <div> sssssssssss</div> <bR> <div> <I>Sensual Sonnets</I></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id1197.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sensual Sonnets"><U>Sensual Sonnets</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id1211.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Quickie"><U>Quickie</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id1212.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Eager Urge"><U>Eager Urge</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id1217.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="One Come Charlie"><U>One Come Charlie</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id1218.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Florbela Espanca"><U>Florbela Espanca</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id1251.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Natures Carpet"><U>Nature's Carpet</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id1261.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Her Way Again"><U>Her Way Again</U></A></div> <bR> <bR> <div> sssssssssss</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/hist/id2.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/hist/id2.htm"><U><I>Knowledge Box</I></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <I>Lots of interesting bits of history,</I></div> <div> <I>facts, articles, </I></div> <bR> <div> sssssssssss</div> <div> <A HREF="id1311.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Fitta"><U>Fitta - Pussy Worship</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id1312.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cunt"><U>Cunt - The Word</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id1313.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Deities and Mythology"><U>Deities and Mythology</U></A></div> <bR> <div> sssssssssss</div> <bR> <div> <I>Diary of a Lecherous Gentleman</I></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id1223.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Diary of a Lecherous Gentleman"><U>Diary of a Lecherous Gentleman</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id1224.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Bistro Incident"><U>The Bistro Incident</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id1225.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Eliminating the Competition"><U>Eliminating the Competition</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id1226.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="La Casita"><U>La Casita</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id1227.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Back to the Basics"><U>Back to the Basics</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id1228.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="My Secret Life"><U>My Secret Life</U></A></div> <bR> <div> sssssssssss</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/hist/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/hist/"><U><B><IMG SRC="10d63c190.gif" border=0 width="60" height="25" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></U></A><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#33CCFF" FACE="Book Antiqua" ><A HREF="http://www.blue1water.com/hist/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.blue1water.com/hist/"><U><I><B> Archives</B></I></U></A></FONT></div> <div> <I>History, Literature and much, much more.</I></div> <bR> <div> sssssssssss</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id19.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Contact Me"><U>Contact Me</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id20.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="About Me"><U>About Me</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id21.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Site Map"><U>Site Map</U></A></div> <bR> <div> sssssssssss</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <A HREF="id18_top1.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Directory"><U><IMG SRC="e1d65670.jpg" border=0 width="101" height="103" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id18_top1.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Directory"><U><I>Back to Top </I></U></A><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Book Antiqua" ><A HREF="id18_top1.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Directory"><U><I> </I></U></A></FONT><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#66FFFF" FACE="Book Antiqua" ><A HREF="id18_top1.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Directory"><U><I><B>^</B></I></U></A></FONT></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <div> <B>LeKnight at Bluewater</B><B> </B><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#FFCC99" FACE="Arial" >    </FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#CCCC66" FACE="Arial" >|   <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="LeKnight at Bluewater"><U><B>home</B></U></A></FONT></div> <div> <A HREF="id275.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="For Thought"><U>For Thought</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id277.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Classes for Men"><U>Classes for Men</U></A>   |   <B>A Bit of Humor</B>   |   <A HREF="id278.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Funny Bumber Stickers"><U>Funny Bumber Stickers</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id279.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sale Items"><U>Sale Items</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id280.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Humor 2"><U>Humor 2</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id1250.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cucumber Better"><U>Cucumber Better</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id378.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Pussy Definitions"><U>Pussy Definitions</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id285.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Penis Parade"><U>Penis Parade</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id283.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cataloged Pussy"><U>Cataloged Pussy</U></A></div> <div> <IMG SRC="042f4010.png" border=0 width="500" height="1" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> A Bit of Humor</div> <div> <A HREF="id18.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Directory"><U><B>back to Directory <<</B></U></A></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> I am not a wine expert.  I just happen to enjoy wines.  And for the longest time, </div> <div> I thought serial port was wine you had with breakfast.  </div> <bR> <div> <B>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------</B></div> <bR> <div>             <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFCCB2" FACE="Book Antiqua" >   Ravishing Your Body</FONT></div> <bR> <div> As I lay on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong</div> <div> urge to grab you and squeeze you, because I can't forget last night.</div> <div> You came to me unexpectedly during the balmy and calm night,</div> <div> and what happened in my bed still leaves a tingling sensation in me.</div> <div> You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly, without any</div> <div> reservations, you laid on my naked  body...you</div> <div> sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth</div> <div> to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me</div> <div> near crazy while you drained  me.</div> <div> Finally I went to sleep. Today when I woke up, you were</div> <div> gone, I searched for you but to no avail,</div> <div> only the sheets bore witness to last night's events.</div> <div> My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic</div> <div> ravishings, making it harder to forget you.</div> <bR> <div>        Tonight I will remain awake waiting for you...</div> <bR> <div>                                     ......you fucking mosquito</div> <bR> <div> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</div> <bR> <div> A guy goes in a bar and orders a beer. After a while this really gorgeous woman walks in and sits beside him. He starts thinking about talking her into bed with him and kindly turns to her, " Hi. Would you like me to buy you a drink?"</div> <bR> <div> The woman turns to him and screams to the top of her lungs: "WHAT? YOU WANT TO FUCK ME?  NO WAY!"</div> <bR> <div> Every discussion in the bar suddenly stops and all the people are staring at the guy as the woman was leaving. The guy gets really embarrassed and stands still on his stool as if nothing had happened. After a while the same woman walks in, approaches him and tells him, "I'm sorry about that little incident but you see I'm a psychology graduate and I wanted to see how people react to embarrassing situations."</div> <bR> <div> The guy then yells: "WHAT???  TWO HUNDRED BUCKS FOR A BLOWJOB?"</div> <bR> <div> <B>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Famous Pickup Lines</B></div> <bR> <div> Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?</div> <div> Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.</div> <bR> <div> Man: Is this seat empty?</div> <div> Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.</div> <bR> <div> Man: Your place or mine?</div> <div> Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.</div> <bR> <div> Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.</div> <div> Woman: But would you stay there?</div> <bR> <div> <B>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Housewife</B></div> <bR> <div> One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.</div> <bR> <div> The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.</div> <bR> <div> He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious had happened. He found her lounging in the bedroom, still curled in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.</div> <bR> <div> He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?" She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and ask me what in the world I did today?"</div> <bR> <div> "Yes" was his incredulous reply. She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it." </div> <bR> <div> ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>A NEW CHURCH</B><B> </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple, and a young newlywed couple, wanted to join a church.</B></div> <div> <B>The pastor said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"</B></div> <div> <B>"No problem at all, Pastor," the old man replied. "Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The pastor then went to the middle-aged couple and asked the same question. The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes, we made it." "Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>He then went to the newlywed couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"</B></div> <div> <B>"No, Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied sadly. "What happened?" inquired the pastor. "My wife was reaching for a can of paint on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right then and there."</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>"You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor. "We know," said the young man. "We're not welcome at Home Depot anymore either." </B></div> <bR> <div> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>BLONDS ARE SO CUTE</B><B> </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>(This was told to me by a blond, which makes it funnier, and the blond a very cool woman. It's important to be able to laugh at ourselves and makes us more fun to be around.) </B></div> <div> <B>A blonde was driving home after a Cowboys game, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and  started blowing into her cars tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. Her roommate rolled her eyes and said,  ....... "HELLLLO" "You need to roll up the windows." </B></div> <bR> <div> <B>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</B></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>THE IMPORTANCE OF UNDIES</B><B> </B></div> <bR> <div> Be careful what you wear when working under your vehicle...especially in public.</div> <bR> <div> From the NORTHWEST FLORIDA DAILY NEWS comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart only to have it break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car there in the lot.</div> <bR> <div> The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts and TUCKED everything back into place.</div> <bR> <div> After she stood up she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic however, had to have three stitches put in his head. </div> <bR> <div> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</div> <bR> <div> There were two old ladies at a dance. One says, "Do you remember the minuet?" </div> <div> The other replies, "I can't even remember the ones I screwed." </div> <bR> <div> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</div> <bR> <div> WOMEN DRIVERS Driving to town this morning</div> <div> on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a</div> <div> brand new Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her</div> <div> rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner! I looked away for a couple</div> <div> seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still</div> <div> working on that damn makeup!!! It scared me so bad I dropped my electric</div> <div> shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the</div> <div> confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the</div> <div> steering wheel, it knocked my cell  phone away from my other ear which</div> <div> fell into the coffee between my legs and <B>DISCONNECTED AN IMPORTANT</B></div> <div> <B>CALL!!!!!!! DAMN WOMEN DRIVERS!!!!!!!!</B></div> <bR> <div> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</div> <bR> <div> One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. </div> <div> Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving... seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" </div> <div> The man replied, "Yep, sure do." </div> <div> Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?" </div> <div> "Nope, sure ain't," said the man. </div> <div> Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?" </div> <div> The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years." </div> <bR> <bR> <div> ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</div> <bR> <div> <B><U>The Meaning of ART</U></B></div> <bR> <div> A couple attending an art exhibition at the National Gallery were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three very black and totally naked men sitting on a park bench.</div> <bR> <div> Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis. The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment. He went on for nearly half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African-Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal society.</div> <bR> <div> "In fact," he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society." After the curator left, a Scottish man approached the couple and said, "Would you like to know what the painting is really about?"</div> <bR> <div> "Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?" asked the couple. "Because I'm the guy who painted it," he replied. "In fact, there are no African-Americans depicted at all. They're just three Scottish coal miners. The only difference is that the guy in the middle went home for lunch.</div> <bR> <div> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="30a1e670.png" border=0 width="286" height="359" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> <I>A Phoenician ivory plaque showing the goddess Ishtar</I></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>