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Open the Door
Open the Door
with the RIGHT conversation
Here, I would say is the very most important thing to remember. No normal woman wants to hear about your past miseries with other women, or past failures. Normal women want to hear about future successes, and pleasures of life which you have to offer. They are not looking for a wrecked man to rebuild, they want a man who is whole and healthy, mentally, and emotionally. Rebuilding men is a mother's job, NOT the job of a future sweetheart. By talking about your past bad experiences, you are creating a negative atmosphere. If you talk about too many past failures, any normal woman will automatically think it is YOU who is the failure, NOT the woman you just ''dumped" or are planning to "dump".
Don't complain, all you do is bore the woman. Don't talk too much. Listen to what she wants to hear. Make yourself interesting, NOT sounding like a major problem case. She is not interested in solving your problems and failures. That's too much like work, and what SHE may have just gone through with another man. She wants a fresh, clean, healthy start. NOT walking through a junkyard, trying to make a whole man out of left over bits and pieces. With your sad tails of failure, you are not winning her heart, you are merely depressing her. She looks at you with sad eyes, and feels pity for you, not as a man she would be proud to walk arm and arm down the street with. Normal women want success at their side, not failure.
Even more, you should be focusing all your energy and attention to what she is saying. Try to feel and visualize what she is saying. It means you have to concentrate. Again, not being lazy. You have to work at it.
she says: "I really like that style of ............"
he says: "Yes I like that also... "
(that was the wrong thing for him to say, he just closed the door again.)
he should have said: "What is it about that style you like?"
Because, with the first answer, the conversation is actually finished. End of conversation. The second answer, is the beginning of a conversation, on a subject she likes to talk about, which means you can listen, and learn more about what she likes. The door is opened wider. You must continually listen for topics she likes to discuss. Women, if they like you will give you information of what they like to talk about. They give that information freely, if they like you, and if you'll just listen. Listen for the topics she likes to talk about. Ask questions, and then listen. Talk less and listen more. Talk 40% of the time, listen 60% of the time.
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