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Obsession Trap
Obsession Trap
Obsession does NOT impress her, in fact, it will push her away
When you let yourself fall into the "obsession" trap, you begin to analyze everything your dream girl does, every word she says, every move she makes... and try to relate them all to you. She smiled at you - she didn't smile at you. She emailed you - she didn't e-mail you. She returned your call - she didn't return your call. Confusion, frustration, and anxiety result.
This obsession with her behaviors and their meanings will paralyze you, confuse you, and suck every ounce of confidence you have from your body. You will become a Babbling Idiot of Insecurity. And women, in general, are not attracted to Babbling Idiots of Insecurity.
So are you wrong to be confused by women? NO! Absolutely NOT! Women ARE confusing. Always have been and always will be. That's just the way they are. Especially when it comes to romance, women seem totally inconsistent in their behaviors. One minute you're convinced you're the man of her dreams, and the next she seems to be unaware of your existence. One minute she's flirting, and smiling, and rubbing up against you, and the next minute she's gone, left without even saying "bye." You SHOULD be frustrated and confused! But that's what self-confident men find so fascinating and challenging.
Now, no one knows exactly why women give off such mixed signals and deliberately, it seems, an attempt to confuse us. Some say it's those magazines they read. Others think it has to do with the secret bathroom conferences they hold. Still others propose that their illogical behaviors are due to the wacky hormones they have surging throughout their bodies. The cause is relatively unimportant. You just have to accept it, and plot your strategy to deal with it.
Forget trying to figure out of if they really like you or not. And don't attempt to analyze. So, then you say, what do I do? The answer is simple. If you're attracted to that girl, then just ASSUME she's attracted to you too. And ACT ACCORDINGLY.
Assume that she likes you and would like to be with you. Assume that she's physically attracted to you. Assume that YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES to attract such a lady, no matter how incredible she seems. Assume the positive... always the positive. Assuming the negative will kill any chances you might have with her. (Pessimists, my friend, are not "attractive.")
For one, if you refuse to obsess about all the little "signs" she's giving you, whether they be good signs or bad signs, you will feel more relaxed, calm, and confident. You won't be "up" one minute because she smiled at you, and "down" the next because she also smiled at some other guy. Attempting to "read" her will only lead to confusion, frustration, and anxiety. And this will make you more tense when she's around, and thus, less likely for you to be the charming, charismatic Don Juan that you'd like to be.
And here, the most important item. If you just assume that she likes you, then you will actually increase the probability that she eventually WILL like you. This is known as a self-fulfilling prophecy, and is a well-documented phenomenon in psychological research.
Basically what this means is that if you have a "she likes me" attitude, then you'll project positive, optimistic behaviors and thoughts. She'll pick up on these and, duh, like you. If, on the other hand, you have a "she doesn't like me" attitude, you'll project negative, pessimistic behaviors and thoughts. She'll, likewise, pick up on these and like you less. And if you have a "does she like me?" attitude, then you'll project tense, anxiety-ridden behaviors and thoughts that will decrease the probability of her liking you... or she may even find being around you to be an "uncomfortable" experience. (Isn't it easier to relax around people who are relaxed themselves?)
By assuming she likes you, rather than worrying about it, you maintain control of the situation and yourself, therefore again radiating self confidence. You have to assume she like you, and likes being with you, and act accordingly. You therefore display confidence. You're relaxed. And you project that "aura".
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