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Enflame her Imagination
Enflame her Imagination
the most important lesson you will learn
Ivan Pavlov was a physiologist who stumbled upon one of the most important principles in all of psychology.
Pavlov discovered that he could teach dogs to salivate at the sound of a tone if he repeatedly paired the tone with the presentation of food. The dogs learned that the tone was a good predictor for food (which they liked and which naturally elicited a salivary response). Thus, by repeatedly pairing the tone and the food, the dogs learned to salivate to the sound of the tone... regardless of whether or not food was present.
This is known as classical conditioning and it's quite an omnipresent phenomenon which influences most every aspect of our lives... especially our love lives.
Because EMOTIONS are particularly susceptible to classical conditioning. Emotions are very often "elicited" by certain circumstances as a result of past learning experiences. A good example of that is, perhaps a song you associate with a girl you loved and shared pleasant moments together with. That song, when you hear it, now brings back vivid memories and intense emotions. Or a food which you shared with the one you love. Tasting that food now again brings out emotions of pleasant past experience.
Now, you ask, how can I use classical conditioning to help in my relationship? Your goal is to simply associate yourself with good emotions, and make yourself into a type of infectious, charismatic individual who elicits positive emotions and positive feelings....simply by being there. If you can't make her happy, she has no use for you at all. No matter how much you tell her you love and need her.
You want you woman to feel excited, happy and good when you are around. You want her to look forward to seeing you, because she knows she is going to feel great. Isn't that how she makes you feel, happy, exited, positive ???
So you don't want your presence to elicit feelings of depression, anger, anxiety, or misery.
The secret here, is so simple, but the least understood by most men. When your sweetheart is in a bad mood, extreme PMS, or had a bad day. Leave her alone, give her space. DON'T try harder to cheer her up, or push to take her out to dinner, or whatever else. All you do is make the situation worse, for her, and for classical conditioning. If you continue that, she will now associate you with negative emotional states. Negative emotional conditioning. You now become a problem in her subconscious which she would rather NOT be with. Yes you might make her feel a little bit better, but most likely you will do more damage. Keep it simple, leave her alone, and give her space.
And if you're a sensitive guy who feels bad because she feels bad... well, remember that people often LIKE to feel down sometimes. People often LIKE getting upset and venting their frustrations. Somehow it helps them to keep their lives in balance. Give her the freedom to feel bad if she wants. In serious situations, yes, you should be there for her to lean on you and draw strength from you, if she wants. And may want to vent those frustration on you. Then you have to be there, or she will feel deserted, and may even hate you for not being there.
In other words, make sure you are with her when she is in a good mood, feeling good, happy. Classical conditioning, that you are the reason she is happy. And DON'T bring her bad news when she is in a good mood.
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